My authenticity and oversharing nature has, overtime, got me into trouble. Where my career as a Lawyer is concerned however, it has been my greatest asset.
Anyone who knows me will tell you I talk alot. I am careful not to offend and would rather be the one that gets hurt than do the hurting. I have pretty thick skin when it comes to most things.
I have no qualms sharing any aspects of my past triumphs and tribulations. If any story of mine inspires someone or help’s someone else in knowing they are not alone then sharing my story is worth it.
It is for these reasons that I tell my birth trauma story. It does not mean that I am not ‘recovered’. It does not mean that I am not ‘coping’. In fact, it is quite the opposite.
I can talk about my story because I am stronger now than ever before. Talking about my story is still hard but it gets easier everytime I tell it.
I think most women experience some kind of ‘birth trauma’. As women we are well known for comparing ourselves to one another and I beleive we do this with our birth stories as well. I think this is what stops us talking about birthing our children because we are worried that “my birth was not as hard as the next person’s and so I shouldn’t complain”. I can’t tell you how much that shits me!
We all experience trauma differently. We all recover is our own ways as well. If you want to talk, TALK! If you are not ready, then sit with those feelings for a while. But don’t hold your story hostage because you think your trauma doesn’t matter. I am here to tell you, no matter what has happened to you in this life, no matter what trauma you have bottled up inside of you, your trauma is valid. And your feelings about that trauma are valid.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.